Grief is a M-O-T-H-E-R F-U-C-K-E-R
G - R - I - E - F is a mother fucker.
Grief takes me down.
It keeps me quiet and depresses me.
Never impresses me (HOLY SHIT! I'm really flowing' here!) Invite me to your next Slam Poetry Nite ;-)
Sometimes grief DOES take me down, and I feel completely alone. It's such an awful feeling. I was just thinking about how when someone has a devastating loss, IF they are fortunate, all those who care come running in. Swooping in really. SWIFTLY to take care: to hug, to cook, to offer an ear or some advice. #goodfriends
But...what happens when the "swoopers" get to the finish-line? (to their finish-line).
What happens to the bereaved then?
Sometimes they are judged.
Judged for not living up to the expectations of others about how grief "should" look.
Judged about what they "should" be doing or not doing now:
"It's been 6 months..."
"I can't believe he/she is doing that!"
"Oh, god, have you seen her lately? She looks terrible."
"She needs to get over this and move on."
TO. BE. CLEAR: NONE OF MY FRIENDS have EVER said anything like this to me. But, so many people reach out to me with stories like this. It's really sad, because the real issue is that we just don't understand each other.
The bereaved don't understand why others can't see how much they are hurting. How much the miss their loved one. "Life goes on."
The "Swoopers" turn away, because they are (to a degree) blinded by fear. [this is my personal theory]
You see, when faced with someone else's loss, we are FORCED to face that same scenario as a possibility in our lives. #fuck
M - O- R- T- A- L- I- T- Y
In fact, what's sometimes scarier for people, is to face THEIR OWN mortality. 😳
CATCH-22. "I want to help, but I don't want to face this."
I want to encourage those who are grieving to reach out to someone, anyone, to ME. I have a private Facebook Group where you will find amazing, compassionate, loving, funny, kind-heart folks (just like YOU) and a place where you can share and ask questions, like "am I crazy?" (but, no you're not crazy -- you are grieving).
Also, I've got several Heart Work LIVE Events coming up and I would love for you to join! No matter what side of grief you're on. (link to Florida event in the comments)
Guided by Grief: changing the conversation about grief from private, ugly & uncomfortable to OPEN, NORMAL & SUPPORTIVE. JOIN THE MOVEMENT.
Please share this post if you think it will help someone.
Spreading So Much Conner Bovee Love ❤️❤️💜